Not exactly nothing, but not exactly everything either...

So, here I am again. I'm sitting here in the cafe, and I'm drink my tea as I have been doing for the last few weeks. I've found that I have to physically take myself out the one bedroom apartment now to get any work accomplished. Not that there are any pressing assignments due soon, but the goal this year is to stay ahead of classes and deadlines as much as possible. We'll just have to see how long this actually lasts.

I have a big list of things to achieve already. This list contains everyday tasks from getting laundry finished and developing motivation to head to the gym to more substantial goals including figuring out the meaning of life. I don't think I'll get to that one today. Here's what my list currently looks like:

1) Homework (reading, writing, blah, blah, blah)
2) Take some photos this week
3) Figure out what song is playing on the stereo right now. Damn too late.
4) Grocery Store
5) Laundry =(
6) What are you doing in college?
7) Work on the project with Erin
8) Gym.... ugh
9) Leave your phone at home - That way you wont stare at it constantly
10) Make a list for tomorrow...

There are a few more, but let's just leave it at this ridiculousness right now.

Goals and lists have kept me going over the last few months. November through January has been... well.. out of the ordinary for me. There have been a few changes, a little moving, a date here and there, and then there has been the voice hovering over me saying, "You still have nothing figured out." The truth is - I have a few things figured out. I wouldn't call it nothing, but I wouldn't call it anywhere near one millionth of everything either. (Time for another list)

1) You're better off without him. Even in the darkest part of the night when you just want him to be there right next to you it's better to have the whole bed to yourself than share it with him. (This is a very rare feeling, but after almost any break-up it's bound to happen)

2) Money is the devil, but you need it to survive. I rest my case.

3) I am happiest when I'm either out shooting photos, listening to almost any kind of contemporary folk music, in a coffee shop, on my yoga mat, or watching some sort of animated movie or series.

4) I love books, but I love books on tape more. I'm not lazy - I just can't sit still that long.

5) I use to think that there was no better feeling than being right. I found something better. Feeling strong. Being right still feels amazing, but it has nothing on feeling strong.

6) It's out of my hands and that has to be alright. End.

7) I have a choice in most things. I should exercise that right to chose. (Side note - I know what I want/need to do most of the time. I should trust that more often)

8) When people start laughing in a crowded coffee shop when no one else is I find them annoying... (This just happened)

9) It'll happen when it happens. Stop looking.

That's enough for today dear ones. Carry onward.